Is That Mustache Really Necessary? - Part II

My most popular post in the history of Silents & Talkies is my Is That Mustache Really Necessary? post, and understandably. It's like a car accident -- you just can't look away. The mustaches are all so fascinatingly horrible, you just sit there mesmerized by the hairy hideousness of it all.

And so for the last year or so I've been stock-piling bad mustaches for a follow up post one day. Ladies and gents, that day has arrived. And it's not pretty.

A quick disclaimer, before you dive into the facial hair festivities: this is all in fun, so if your favorite actor is in here sporting a 'stache that you found particularly becoming, please don't have a hissy fit in the comments. I included my beloved Dirk Bogarde in the last round, so it's all good ;-D

Here we go!

I don't think I'd want to dance cheek to cheek

with Fred if he's going to look like this!

Not the worst offender of this batch,

but still .. the goatee is a tad pathetic, no?

Ouch.

This one just makes me giggle. He looks so silly, doesn't he?!

Noooooooooo! Robert Redford, my love. You're too

delectably handsome to cover that face with a porn 'stache.

I half expect him to whip off his mustache

and kill me with it.

I don't even ...

Going to let this one slide, just because he's older. If Bill

had rocked a mustache in Picnic, that would be different.

And illegal.

I know I'm the only person who thinks James Mason

wasn't a slimy cradle-robber, but I'll be the first to admit

I wouldn't let my kids around him with this mustache.

It's tragic to cover up this face, right?

Yet.. I think he could have had tattoos of

Tyrone Power* on both cheeks & he'd still look fetching ;-D

*If you follow me on twitter or have ever read a post on Classic

Forever, you know I'm not a huge fan..

No, I don't want to buy a vacuum cleaner, now please leave me alone!

Aww, poor Rock. Mustache bringing you down?

YE GADS!!! You know, everyone thought I was nuts when I

included Rod Taylor in my list of old Hollywood crushes.

Maybe this is the only picture of him that they'd seen..

Maybe Mr. Chips would have married earlier if he'd

picked up the razor once in a while.. just saying...

hehe.

My undying love for Frank Sinatra leaves me unable to

critique his little upper-lip peach fuzz.

Cute boyish face + mustache = *scrubs eyes*

James Cagney is the only repeat from my last list,

only because I found this new photo in which the

eyebrows are just as puzzling as the mustache.

Neither Jean Paul Belmondo or Maurice Chevalier should

have ever been allowed to grow facial hair. Did young

children run away in horror? I think so.

I know it's for a role, but please. It had to be included.

Ditto on the "for a role" thing, but LOL.

Robert Redford, I take it back. THIS is a porn 'stache.

Confession: I actually think this one is cute, in a Victorian sort of way..

Peter McEnery's evil twin.

George Sanders thinks the mustache & monocle will make him

appear intelligent and discerning, but I'd be clutching my

purse tightly as he passed by..

And I leave you with one more George Sanders, sporting not only

a hideous mustache but a beard and false bushy eyebrows, to boot! Ka-pow!